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Today, I feel like doing something special. I like to call it... Funny Raistlin Quotes, Part 1.
So, you say that how in the world can you think of quotes from Raistlin as funny, well, this first set isn't really from the book series, it's from a side...thing...that I found at Dragonlance underground, so all credit goes to it's author. It's hilarious!

First set:
8:02 A.M. "We have finally set off on our quest again. I am thrilled beyond belief. Really. If I have to listen to that atrocious kender trailsong ONE MORE TIME, I am surely going to turn them all into sheep and auction them off at the next farm town--oh no. Now Flint is at it. "Metal and stone, stone and metal, metal and stone." ARGH!
8:04 A.M Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. Raistlin had a little lamb, and sold it along with all the others to a slaughterhouse--

Set 2:
11:06 A.M. Ouch. My feet hurt. Where are they? Now I am all alone, friendless and adrift, my twin far away. Wait--
11:07 A.M. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!

Set 3:
12:50 A.M. I thought I saw that apple tree somewhere around here. I should do as the evil sorceress in that old children's tale and poison the green halves...perhaps I am not the fairest, but I am certainly the smartest. And the better dressed.

Set 4:
There's a funny qoute here about Raistlin and an elf, but I will not post it here. Not now at least.

Set 5:
2:09 P.M. Why don't you ask Goldmoon to heal your bunions, Tanis? Or does the thought of a woman removing your boots make you uncomfortable?
(This part you probably don't get unless you read the Chronicles, but if you did, it's great!)

Set 6:
3:45 P.M. After a round of whining, we decided to make camp, even though it is the middle of the afternoon. I do not care either way. It's not as though this hasn't been one of the most irritating days of my life: no sleep, elflords yelling in my face, stinking kender constantly upwind of me, blamed for making Tanis cry, almost got away and didn't, interrupted before a half-naked elfmaid could have her way with me, my twin ate my danish, the pregnant cleric ate all the rest, and my staff--where is my staff?
3:46 P.M. SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE RIGHT NOW!

Set 7:
4:04 P.M. I have decided to forgive them for using the Staff of Magius, a priceless magical treasure, as a makeshift clothsline, in exchange for getting first pick of the baker's wagon we have decided to waylay, since we have all been driven to starving desperation by the earlier gluttony of the cleric of "Mishkal the Breeder," and apparently no one has been able to hit a rabbit, deer, pheasant, or even the broad side of a barn all day. Now we will not only be known as homeless vagabonds, but thieves as well. Here comes the wagon.

Set 8:
4:42 P.M. Oh dear gods, it's a Black Forest cake! Back! Back, all of you! Mine!
4:43 P.M. Carrmmmnnn, ngnu can' hav inny ov my caag! Gt awvvvyy!

Set 9:
7:51 P.M. By all the gods. Why me? Why have they picked this night to sing? How can they have the energy to do so, after eating more baked goods than any of us have seen in a year? Shut up! Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup--

Set 10:
8:37 P.M. This is much better. At least I can't hear their off-key voices anymore. And it isn't as cold as I thought it was. Yawn. I wonder where that strange elfmaid has gone? Sigh. Yawwwnn.
8:45 P.M. Zzzzz...yes, my dear, we do wear very little under our robes...zzzz...

Ok, I'm done, that's enough for today. Tomorrow I should have some more of the story.
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